I have a Mom Bag. And other new realizations about motherhood.

Mom Bag

  • I have a Mom Bag. Inside you may find:
    • Extra clothes for the baby, because blowouts.
    • Extra clothes for me, because blowouts of epic proportions.
    • Snacks for the baby.
    • Snacks for me, because once a baby starts eating solids it becomes a quantum physics lesson to balance their appetites, teething status, nap schedule vs eating schedule and bottle vs solid time, and therefore when am I supposed to eat, exactly?
    • Toys for the baby. Like 1,254 of them.
    • My wallet (if I’m coherent enough to remember)
    • My car keys (they’re attached to the wallet, so I don’t lose them in my zombielike state)
    • My cell phone, which is constantly hovering between 30% and 0% battery life, so good luck with trying to reach me.
  • I’m too tired to socialize. Between the teething pain middle of the night awakenings, working my full time job, keeping the house in order, making sure the baby and we have food, paying bills, doing laundry, etc, etc, blah blah blah, sometimes I just can’t even with pasting on a smile, worrying about hair & makeup and being out in public. Not all of the time. But a lot of the time, maintaining friendships and relationships requires a heavy dose of “suck it up, buttercup” and “put on your big girl pants and go”.
  • When you spend 75 minutes preparing to go to the pool, including – putting the baby in his swim diaper, his swim outfit, slathering him with baby sunscreen while he throws a tantrum in protest, grab your towels, put on your suit, slap sunscreen on your own body parts you can actually reach and snag the baby floatie – when you are finally done packing up all said things, hike or drive to the pool’s location and finally arrive at the pool……….  it will rain. Like, monsoon, thunderstorm, RAIN.
  • When it’s just you and the baby making a road trip of 4 hours, the baby will scream bloody murder the entire. damn. way.  But when your spouse is in the car with you for a NINE hour trip, the baby will behave like an absolute angel for the entire duration.
  • Drinking to excess is not advisable when paired with the exhaustion and stress of parenthood. Results may vary. Proceed with caution.
  • Depression. If you have it, I’m with you. If you’re a new mom and you have it, I’m with you. Even when it’s under control, it’s always there. And when it’s not under control, you best know when to reach out for help. Truer words were never spoken than “it takes a village”.
  • Since having a child, marriage has never been more breathtakingly sweet or more infuriatingly stressful. While parenthood is the best thing to ever happen to us, it’s also pushed our limits of patience and understanding beyond belief.
  • This is not a new realization, but one that smacks me upside the head with much greater frequency now: I cannot do everything.  Nope. I cannot. Dishes will stay dirty in the sink. The lawn will grow to tropical lengths some weeks. The dry cleaning will be forgotten on accident.  New parenthood is like juggling 20 very fragile teacups in the air while knowing with absolute certainty that at least 5 of them will plunge to their dainty deaths. There is nothing you can do to stop the carnage. And if anyone gives you grief for not being able to do it all, you have my permission to throat-punch them.
  • Buy infant medications in bulk and stock them everywhere: diaper bags, nursery, parents’ houses, upstairs, downstairs, in vehicles. Be a squirrel with that shit. Because when you are running low, that’s when the baby will need them all. And when the baby is screaming and won’t fall asleep from teething pain, that’s the moment you’ll realize you left the diaper bag holding the ONE bottle of Infant Tylenol you own at your parents’ house 35 minutes away. FUCK.
  • Judgy people happen. They won’t agree with your parenting style, your feeding philosophy, and/or your stay at home or work from home or working mom mentality. They will criticize whether you travel for work or whether you live as a shut-in. Shots, no shots. Babywearing, no babywearing. Baby food purees or Baby Led Weaning. At the end of the day, forget the Judgy McJudgyFaces. You do you. And support other mamas while they do them.
  • You will lose friends when you become a parent, because you flipped the script and went and changed, how dare you. You will also have friends who haven’t deserted you, but are instead giving you space to begin your journey with this tiny human. Be smart enough to know the difference.
  • I thought I loved big and fearlessly before I became a Mom. But the degree and magnitude of feeling I have for my son? It undoes me.
  • My favorite times of day with my son are just after he wakes in the morning and just before he falls asleep at night. The way he snuggles into my arms, resting his head in the crook of my neck, feeling his breath in the baby hairs that have escaped my bun… all is right in the world.

What did you learn in your first year of parenthood? What surprised you the most? What hurt you? What did you love the most?

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I have a Mom Bag. And other new realizations about motherhood.

4 Responses

  1. I love all of this so much, I can’t even. Love love love the bit about you do you. That’s what it’s all about.

    Nette July 20, 2016 at 10:26 am #
  2. HAHAHAHA! Exactly.. to every one of those things. Love it, love you. xoxo

    Christine July 20, 2016 at 10:56 am #
    • Love you, too! xoxoxoxo

      50Peach July 20, 2016 at 2:25 pm #

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