Now I understand…
…How a new mom can stand at a sink full of dishes and wonder if this is really the rest of her life. Doing dishes at 5 in the morning, because you know the baby will be asleep for at least another hour or two. Scrambling to complete a few loads of laundry between nap times. Not showering for three days and wondering if that stain on her shirt is spitup or yellow poo. But wearing it for the rest of the day anyway, because, baby is crying again. (I plead the fifth on whether that was me.) Whomever wrote this ecard has it right.
…How a new mom feels when she’s on the receiving end of a bazillion opinions, reminders, suggestions and “helpful” advice from God and everyone on the planet about how to raise a baby. And I remind myself (“SELF, LISTEN UP!”) to keep my own damn mouth shut the next time I encounter a new mom.
…That the word “tired” takes on a whole new meaning with a newborn. Not that a mom of a toddler, or a grade-schooler or a pre-teen or teen is any LESS tired… it’s just that we are new to this whole mom thing and it is one fucking hell of a shock to the system.
…That husbands are unique snowflakes when it comes to loving their child. They love without limits and bend over backwards to help you when they can. But it won’t stop them from being men who doodle on your newborn’s pictures and laughing hysterically. (And admit it… you do too.)
…What people meant when they said “it’s different when it’s your own child”. This applies to your magnitude of patience, your tolerance of bodily fluids and your ability to not freak the fuck out at everything your single, childless self would have.
…That coffee truly is the lifesaving force behind a new mother. Or at least this new mother.
…That information surrounding motherhood, sleep training, infant development and myriad other topics can resemble a tornado hitting a monsoon in the middle of a blizzard during hurricane season – and everyone thinks they know THE thing you should be reading, doing, following and teaching. But at the end of the day, you and your partner have to make the call on which to follow. Or not follow. And try not to pull your hair out in the meantime.
…That whomever thought of Amazon Prime with their free 2 day shipping is a god among men/women. Diapers, wipes, bottle nipples, swaddles, formula, Wubbanubs and various other sundries have all been rushed to our home. And I’m pretty sure our UPS driver hates me with the fire of a thousand suns.
…What all those friends of mine meant when they kept posting about having to drink cold coffee. Why ever would you drink cold coffee? Oh, yeah. Because when you have an armful of non-screaming baby who requires feeding, burping, changing and will then detonate if you set him down for longer than 2.5 seconds, it makes it a tad bit difficult to stay on top of a steaming hot cup of coffee. My mug is the recipient of some longing, woe-is-me gazes. Le sigh.
Now I understand that I couldn’t have possibly been prepared for the amount that my heart would grow with love for this tiny human. It is like nothing I’d ever imagined, yet more than I ever dreamed.