On Being an “Older Bride”. [Guest post for The Broke-Ass Bride]

Allow me to dust off my walker and bifocals for a moment, if you don’t mind. My latest contribution to The Broke-Ass Bride’s Real Bride series is all about being an “older bride”.

50Peach.com Older Bride? Naaah.

Me, like 1/2 of my lifetime.

Here’s a little teaser for you, but please head on over to their page and laugh along with me, nod your head in agreement and weigh in if you feel inclined … because I think in this case, older and wiser is pretty damn good.

You’ve all read my past entries here at The Broke-Ass Bride, from the gnarly to the mushy. But today, I thought I’d weigh in as a Real Bride with the Pros and Cons of being an “older” bride. Yes, I am tackling a hot-button topic here at The Broke-Ass Bride. But before anyone gets their knickers in a twist, let me come out and say that I am 36 years old. I’ve never been married before. I have no kids. No pets. And only two long-term relationships ever (late bloomer, hi). Sorry, I don’t know y’all well enough to give you my “number.” The groom is also 36, never married, no kids, no pets. There. Now you have the facts about us. According to TheKnot’s 2013 Wedding Statistics Release from March, the average marrying ages are: Bride, 29; Groom, 31.

 

REAL BRIDE PEACH: THE PROS AND CONS OF BEING AN “OLDER” BRIDE. 

Happy Hump Day, y’all!

Till next time,

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On Being an “Older Bride”. [Guest post for The Broke-Ass Bride]

6 Responses

  1. I have a lot of thoughts on this…I was 27 when I got married, which I guess is a regular age to get married – if there is such a thing – but in my orthodox Jewish community where girls regularly tie the knot mere weeks after graduating from college, I was basically a spinster. I am a huge proponent, as I know you are, of being your very best self before you get married. Waiting until I did allowed me years to live it up in New York with my friends, graduate from law school, start my career, and figure out who I both wanted and needed to be on my own. I think my marriage is better and stronger for having taken those years and that time.

    As for the people telling you your “clock is ticking”? That’s just nonsense and actually makes me steamingly angry. First of all, actively trying to have kids before you’re ready for them is a really bad idea. Second of all, I have been through (and am going through) the rollercoaster of fertility and I can tell you that I know 40 year olds who get pregnant practically without trying, and 21 year olds going through multiple rounds of IVF. There is no rhyme or reason to any of it. After my experiences over these past few months, I really and truly believe that everyone will have the family they are meant to have when the time is right and that no one has the right to comment on anyone else’s choices in this area. Rant over.

    Sam Merel June 18, 2014 at 12:21 pm #
    • Sam, SO agreed on many points. Similar to your community, here in the South where I attended high school and college, it was a rarity to continue on through grad school (and beyond) without being married yet! Learning and being our best selves prior to getting married will do nothing but benefit our partnerships. And ugh, YES on the guilt-shaming over procreation. It’s absolute bullshit and NONE of anyone’s business what our ovaries are or aren’t going to do. And they can take their opinions and shove em! 😛

      50Peach June 18, 2014 at 1:58 pm #
  2. Like Sam, I was “old” at 25 in the Christian community where honestly, sometimes it seems that the young age of marriage is because people are waiting for sex. I watched a LOT of friends get married the month after college graduation and had no dates for like two years and was sure I’d end up alone. (So silly in your early 20s, right?) In any case, I was glad we got married when we did, and glad we waited 5 years to have kids. About both (the marrying not right out of college and waiting to have kids) we got TONS of comments. I was most definitely asked by a family member if I was a lesbian. And what if we weren’t having kids because I had infertility issues? People just butted right into there and didn’t mind speaking up, no matter what the reason. In any case, yes. I think we all have our OWN stories. You wouldn’t want someone else’s story, right? So why do we prescribe a “norm” so much on people? I love your story and that I got to read so much of it online. :)

    Kirsten Oliphant June 21, 2014 at 1:23 pm #
    • Thank you for sharing your experiences too, Kirsten. I cannot. believe. you. were. asked. if. you. were. a. lesbian. Oh to be a fly on the wall for THAT response. Thank you for loving me, my story and I love you back. xox

      50Peach June 30, 2014 at 4:26 pm #
  3. Wow, you are doing a lot of bridal guest posts, congratulations! I was 30 when I got married. I think it’s good to wait. Most of my friends that got married in their early 20s have since divorced (and mostly remarried, in their 30s). I think it take time to really figure out who you are and what’s important.

    Stacie June 29, 2014 at 3:17 pm #
    • Thanks, Stacie! I’m loving the guest blogging and plan to keep loving it for as long as it lasts. In the meantime, thanks for still showing up and reading allofthewedding stuff. :) And it’s true… as I prepare to get married, many friends my age are battling through difficult divorces. So tough. :(

      50Peach June 30, 2014 at 4:27 pm #

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