Today’s post brings you my latest bridal
trainwreck masterpiece, which is also appearing over at the lovely and talented Broke-Ass Bride’s page as a part of her Real Bride series. I normally don’t post in entirety a piece that appeared as a guest post, but this matters enough to me to do so because I make every attempt to be honest and vulnerable in my writing here. Oh, and make an ass of myself. I do that all too well. So here ya go.
This is my face.
No one tells you how shitty planning a wedding can make you feel sometimes. I was simply not prepared.
Before I expound, I have to make this humble request: If there is actually a 100% tested-and-approved rule book to follow for not pissing people off when planning a wedding, please order it for me on Amazon and send it my way. But as far as I know, there is no such thing in existence.
I wish there was, as it would appear the planning process is filled with potential traps and pitfalls around every corner. Just when you’re patting yourself on the back for checking a biggie off the to-do list, there is someone just waiting to pull you by your shirt sleeve off into a corner and whisper conspiratorially into your ear about how you should have done it.
The guest list, for instance. Trust me on this: Someone will be forgotten. And even if it was COMPLETELY on accident and you have not spoken with them in years, they will be deeply, gravely and irreparably hurt. Or conversely, you may invite someone controversial – someone you know will cause a ripple in the emotional pond, but social obligations win – and suddenly you’re being angrily chastised for your insensitivity. As it turns out, guest lists are a tricky, tricky bitch to tame and you can’t and won’t win, so the best you can do is just make your choices, put on the battle gear and prepare yourself for the reactions.
Speaking of, don’t even get me started on my Save the Dates. I second-guessed my use of the clear address labels. The fonts I picked. The magnet vs paper. The design. The colors. The stamps. When to send them. And what to include in the content of them. In the end, I loved what we sent. And you know what? Apparently I screwed up because I didn’t put the location of our wedding on it. Oh, and I didn’t create a website (or register yet!!) and include that on it too. I’m a terrible bride-to-be.
Now prepare yourself, because I’m going to be straight-up, balls-out, honest with you for a minute. Between my bestie (also getting married) and I, we have personally been through the following because of our choices thus far:
- de-friendings on Facebook
- nasty phone calls/texts
- silent treatments
- family feuds of WWIII proportions
- fist-fights between grown men
- being made to feel inferior because of our wedding decisions
- being told our choices are flat-out wrong
- requests that decisions be cleared by family members before being finalized
- emergency therapy sessions (for us)
- emergency therapy sessions (for family members with us, because of the wedding)
- Tears. Epic amounts of tears. Ours, especially.
I only wish I was kidding.
If you knew my bestie or me personally, you’d know that we are two of the most considerate and loyal people out there. We are doing everything to try to please everyone on both sides, not rock the boat and be/do all things wedding perfectly. But our very best attempts at playing nice in every single sandbox are being thwarted. Almost comically so.
We DO realize that it’s not just about us and that we have to take other people’s feelings into consideration. But please, somebody tell me what we are doing so terribly. Are we just doomed to offend someone, somehow, no matter what? And does this feeling of inadequacy and “NO, YOU’RE DOING IT ALL WRONG!” happen to all brides?
Because at a time when I’m supposed to be dreaming of my gorgeous dress and how romantic the ceremony will be, standing in front of the garden’s waterfall and professing my love to my person… I feel like crap. And I kinda want to bag the whole thing and go elope in Times Square.
Who’s with me out there? Happen to you, too? Tell my bestie and I that we’re not alone.
Till the next throat-punch,
I’m also sharing this mess with the crew over at Not So (Small) Stories. It’s their Spring Break and hope they don’t mind me linking up with some wedding shenanigans.