You think you know how it will all go down. You’ve dreamed about this moment since you were a little girl. Notice I said you. Not me. But whatever you have envisioned for the moment you become engaged, rest assured it won’t happen exactly as you hoped or dreamed. (SPOILER: It’s actually better.)
Lemme s’plain how it has gone down for me by sharing what’s been the most surprising so far.
1. The moment.
I thought I would react like you see on TV… the chest-clutching, cover the mouth, face crumpling in tears, all aflutter, oh-really-who-me?
Nope. I was grinning like an idiot the whole time. I mean, sunbeams shooting out of my face, grinning. Overjoyed. Happy. Couldn’t wait to say yes. Let a curse word slip. Laughing, smiling, elated. No tears. I mean, why cry?!? I love this man so much it’s stupid. Plus? I’m a stress crier, not a happy crier. Or maybe I’m just a weirdo. There’s always that. Good thing he loves my weird.
2. The Bling.
It’s distracting. The first time my ring made it out of the house and the sun caught it while I was driving to the grocery store, I almost wrecked my car. Not even kidding a little bit. Whoa.
3. The Questions – Holy sh*tballs, no one prepared me for all the questions!!!
THEM: When is the wedding? Where will it be? What season? Indoor or outdoor, church or no church, what kind of dress do you want?
ME: Ummm… I don’t know, soon-ish? Somewhere. Something not cold. Or hot. Depends. None of your business. And something with none of the following: bows, ruffles, feathers, camouflage or poofy sleeves.
Am I the world’s shittiest bride-to-be because I don’t have answers for ANY OF THESE? Or that DR and I have barely even grazed the surface of most of these topics?? So, can someone remind us both to breathe? And tell us how to politely respond with something other than this?
4. The Bling, part two.
It’s $$$. Trust me, the enormity of the financial implication of it is not lost on me. It is not to be taken lightly. Hence why I seriously get sweatypits when I have to leave my house. Or wash my hands. Or pretty much breathe.
5. The Facebook Apocalypse.
Whoa. People come out of the woodwork. High school friends, current coworkers, former coworkers, undergrad and grad school friends, music festival friends, Camp Mighty friends, cousins/aunts/uncles (on both sides), former teachers/mentors, ex-boyfriends, Crossfit friends, holy frijoles. Best to turn off your phone notifications in advance. It’s nutso. But also kinda awesome.
6. My New Name.
People referring to me as ‘Mrs. HisLastName’ was a huge jolt the first few times! It wasn’t that I’d never imagined the phrase – it was that it had never been LEGIT until right now. Sh*t just got real.
Aside: Not trying to start any controversy with this, because I’m sure some folks might be aghast that people just assumed I would take his name. But in actuality, it doesn’t bother me. And remember too, this is the South. 😉
7. The Parents.
I had no idea how hard it would hit them. My mom, especially. She shared with me that she has been happy-tears weepy, remembering when I was born and how she held me and wished me all the happiness in the world… hoping that one day I’d be as happy and in love as she was. Well jeez, Mom. Thanks for helping me make up for those tears I didn’t cry when he proposed. Sniffffffffff. I’m sure all my mama bear readers are cursing me and reaching for the kleenex, too. Sorry, y’all. My dad has been a rock. He, of course, mock-threatened DR with mention of his shotgun, but that’s his love language. Not one of many words, my dad, but he expressed plenty of love and congrats and desire to help us wherever possible in his own calm and quiet way.
I think we spend so much time as single gals NOT wanting the family pressure to get married that when it does happen, we forget how much it affects them, too. I have no doubt the planning will bring it’s share of stress, but that it will also bring us all closer together.
8. The F-word.
He said it to me first, all stretched out. “Hey, guess what? You’re my fiannnnccceeeee.”
It takes some adjusting to make the switch from ‘boyfriend’ to the F-word, but I think I’ll get it eventually. 😀
So there you go. That’s what has smacked me upside the head in the less than a week that I’ve been newly betrothed. How about the rest of you?
What took you by surprise when you became engaged? If you’re my lovely single ladies, what is surprising about this list?