It’s official. Peach is single again.
But do not fear. There will be no head-hanging, pity partying, or wallowing here. Okay, maybe a little, because breakups are a kick in the ass no matter what. But trust me on this one, I made the right choice.
I contemplated for the past few days about what to write in this very public forum about something this personal. I’m taking the high road. It will not make me feel any better to publicly tar and feather him, to list every one of his flaws, or to rehash the awful downward spiral of our short-lived relationship.
The unfortunate truth is that he was unwilling to compromise on some very crucial elements of a healthy adult relationship, and I was unwilling to settle for less than I deserve.
I am quite proud of myself for not repeating my past mistake of staying with someone while ignoring all the screaming red flags. I’m proud that I communicated my wants and needs to my partner clearly. I’m proud that I’m avoiding months/years/a life of feeling taken for granted and unappreciated. I’m proud that I put myself and my own happiness first. Growth is good.*
*Reminder to myself to read this paragraph when I get sad. Which is right now. Like, a lot.
So can we talk instead about how amazing my friends are?
- Friend1: Sent this article, which calls out the differences between inconsiderate behavior and emotional manipulation. It stirred past memories (and current incidents!) and reminded me that I don’t care to repeat allowing or accepting those behaviors in my life. Thank you for taking the time to share that with me… and I hope you feel I’ve spent your $.02 wisely!
- Friend2: “So, what do you want me to say to you in a week when he comes crawling back and you’re thinking about giving him another chance?” Me: “Honey, you have my express permission to beat the ever-loving shit out of me if I give it even a minute’s consideration.” Friend2: “Good deal. Just wanted to get clearance in advance.” And then we drank more wine.
- Friend3: “Oh, God. Just tell me you’re not going to sleep with him again.” Me: UmmmletmethinkFUCKNO.
- MaleFriend1: “Oh, you broke up? Good. He had waaaaaay too many abs for our crowd.”
- On D-Day, a gf offered to drop everything at 8:45pm to come keep me company. (Damn good friend!) We instead had a lunch date the next day. Shitty sushi. Great talk.
- Text messages, FaceTime, IM session, phone calls. One text went like this: Friend4: “Miss you!! How you doin?” Me: “Miss YOU!! I’m ok. Single again.” Friend4: “Whawhaehaehajfgnqjcfjqnsfonr?!?!!!?” ::: phone rings 2 seconds later ::: <–Awesome.
- Wine night(s).
- MaleFriend2: Emailed me this.
- Supportive tweets from @saalon, @snapsandbits, @DSLikesit, @shoshuga @evilgalprods. Hugs to them. If I forgot anyone, I’ll make out with you later. Maybe. If you’re hot. My standards are still high, people.
- Friend5: “Can I post on his Facebook wall, ‘you’re FAT!!’, and then immediately de-friend him? Pleaaaaase???” I told her no. That his 6-pack abs would burst into the girliest, hottest, saltiest tears and require years of therapy to recover…
- Friend6: “His name was XXXXXXX. There’s your first problem.” <–gotta protect the
idiotinnocent. :/ But oh hell, did that make me laugh.
So yeah. Does this suck right now? Of course. Do I need an intervention from all the pumpkin granola, ice cream, almond butter and wine I’m shoving into my facehole? omgyouhavenoidea. But I’ll be okay. Because I have friends like these. I am a lucky, lucky woman.
I am a firm believer in telling my people I love them when the feeling hits. It’s been said early and often lately.