With a little help from my friends

It’s official.  Peach is single again.

But do not fear. There will be no head-hanging, pity partying, or wallowing here. Okay, maybe a little, because breakups are a kick in the ass no matter what. But trust me on this one, I made the right choice.

I contemplated for the past few days about what to write in this very public forum about something this personal. I’m taking the high road. It will not make me feel any better to publicly tar and feather him, to list every one of his flaws, or to rehash the awful downward spiral of our short-lived relationship.

The unfortunate truth is that he was unwilling to compromise on some very crucial elements of a healthy adult relationship, and I was unwilling to settle for less than I deserve.

I am quite proud of myself for not repeating my past mistake of staying with someone while ignoring all the screaming red flags.  I’m proud that I communicated my wants and needs to my partner clearly. I’m proud that I’m avoiding months/years/a life of feeling taken for granted and unappreciated.  I’m proud that I put myself and my own happiness first. Growth is good.*

*Reminder to myself to read this paragraph when I get sad. Which is right now. Like, a lot.

So can we talk instead about how amazing my friends are?

  • Friend1: Sent this article, which calls out the differences between inconsiderate behavior and emotional manipulation.  It stirred past memories (and current incidents!) and reminded me that I don’t care to repeat allowing or accepting those behaviors in my life.  Thank you for taking the time to share that with me… and I hope you feel I’ve spent your $.02 wisely! :)
  • Friend2: “So, what do you want me to say to you in a week when he comes crawling back and you’re thinking about giving him another chance?” Me: “Honey, you have my express permission to beat the ever-loving shit out of me if I give it even a minute’s consideration.” Friend2: “Good deal. Just wanted to get clearance in advance.” And then we drank more wine.
  • Friend3: “Oh, God. Just tell me you’re not going to sleep with him again.”  Me: UmmmletmethinkFUCKNO.
  • MaleFriend1: “Oh, you broke up? Good. He had waaaaaay too many abs for our crowd.”
  • On D-Day, a gf offered to drop everything at 8:45pm to come keep me company. (Damn good friend!)  We instead had a lunch date the next day. Shitty sushi. Great talk.
  • Text messages, FaceTime, IM session, phone calls.  One text went like this: Friend4: “Miss you!! How you doin?” Me: “Miss YOU!! I’m ok. Single again.”  Friend4: “Whawhaehaehajfgnqjcfjqnsfonr?!?!!!?” ::: phone rings 2 seconds later ::: <–Awesome.
  • Wine night(s).
  • MaleFriend2: Emailed me this.

Along with this message: “Fuck that guy. You rock. Chin up.”

  • Friend5: “Can I post on his Facebook wall, ‘you’re FAT!!’, and then immediately de-friend him? Pleaaaaase???” I told her no. That his 6-pack abs would burst into the girliest, hottest, saltiest tears and require years of therapy to recover…
  • Friend6: “His name was XXXXXXX.  There’s your first problem.”  <–gotta protect the idiot innocent. :/ But oh hell, did that make me laugh.

So yeah.  Does this suck right now? Of course.  Do I need an intervention from all the pumpkin granola, ice cream, almond butter and wine I’m shoving into my facehole? omgyouhavenoidea. But I’ll be okay. Because I have friends like these.  I am a lucky, lucky woman.

I am a firm believer in telling my people I love them when the feeling hits. It’s been said early and often lately.

Now.

Onward!

With a little help from my friends

13 Responses

  1. I’m sorry! That sucks. And it’s okay to take time to be sad and mad about it. If you eat a few extra bites of ice cream, then so be it. Next week you won’t, but this week it’s okay. Next week will be picking yourself up by your bootstraps week and doing whatever you have to to get better abs than him!! :)

    Your friends sounds awesome. Loooove that puppy picture :)

    kianwi October 8, 2012 at 9:21 pm #
    • Thanks for making me smile, Kianwi! The picking myself up has already begun. I’m the type to wallow deep in the muck for a minute, but not for too long. Get it all out, get it over with and move on. Life’s too short. 😉

      50peach October 9, 2012 at 8:57 am #
  2. 1. love this. you rock.
    2. please keep that puppy pic on file for when i am sad.
    3. WHERE WAS I WHEN THERE WAS WINE BEING POURED?
    4. I want to meet friend 5 and 6. those are my kind of people.
    5. oh and male friend 1. abs should only come in packs of 6, at most.
    6. so proud of you.

    xoxo

    Mehrnush October 8, 2012 at 9:26 pm #
    • 1. YOU
      2. Noted
      3. There in spirit. 😉
      4. You will.
      5. agree, any more is just alien-esque!
      6. love you. xoxox

      50peach October 9, 2012 at 8:53 am #
  3. If Friend2 isn’t married to MaleFriend1 I don’t know people very well.

    The ONLY reason I’m just a tiny bit sad about this is that I’ll never be able to have the following conversation.

    Him: “Hi, my name is (superhero related).
    Me: “Really?…..Hi, I’m Batman.”

    Russell Sauve (@RussellSauve) October 9, 2012 at 12:27 am #
    • I am a teeny bit sad for you as well. I know you were looking forward to that interaction. You win the predictive friend prize as well. 😉

      50peach October 9, 2012 at 8:52 am #
  4. Yep, I was totally reading friend 2 and malefriend 1 the same way. Although malefriend 1 could have been just about ANYONE in this crowd.

    georgiagirl October 9, 2012 at 9:16 am #
    • True. The thinly veiled sarcastic deadpan runs amok. :)

      50peach October 9, 2012 at 9:25 am #
  5. “The unfortunate truth is that he was unwilling to compromise on some very crucial elements of a healthy adult relationship, and I was unwilling to settle for less than I deserve.”

    Yes, yes, YES! Don’t worry; your prince will come. In the meantime, enjoy your awesome friends!

    Ashley Austrew October 9, 2012 at 2:36 pm #
    • Yep. That line sums it up neatly, despite all the swirling emotions. It’s what I keep coming back to, and what keeps me strong in my decision. My friends are wonderful, aren’t they? Certifiable, but wonderful. :)

      50peach October 11, 2012 at 2:25 pm #
  6. This sucks – but I think you have the right attitude! (And your friend #2 – definitely the right attitude 😉

    Anja October 13, 2012 at 12:26 pm #
Trackbacks/Pingbacks
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    […] 50 Peach: Peach broke up with her boyfriend. […]

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