Yesterday held the joyous task of telling the family the lovely news of the demise of the relationship…if you want to call it that. More like, “Hey, guess what? That guy I introduced to you as my boyfriend? Yeah. He bailed pretty much the day he met all of you. Isn’t that awesome?”.
Today resulted in self-destructive behavior in the form of my revisiting the unfinished business of the hot server from the Danger post. Why unfinished? Well, I had endured a week of non-communication from him too, just prior to meeting the last fella. So when I ran into him at the restaurant shortly after I started seeing He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named, it was uber-awkward. He asked if he could see me the coming week. I said, “…………….ummm…maybe?”. God I am an idiot. He didn’t contact me after that. Commence HWSNBN disaster.
I can kid myself and say that I really just wanted to drink wine and have dessert at the bar tonight, but I know I wanted to see Danger. So I washed my hair for the first time in four days (disgusting I know, shuddup) and made myself presentable. Lemme tell you, that was a task. Not enough concealer in the WORLD will hide these dark circles.
And the motherfucker barely looked at me when I was there. He told me goodbye on his way out and gave me a hug. That was it.
So like a moron, I text him a message stating that I did actually want to talk to him. He said I should have said so and asked what I wanted to talk about. I referred to the weirdness the last time I saw him. He replied that he did want to know what that was about, but didn’t want me to feel obligated. So I told him that after not hearing from him for a week I assumed he wasn’t interested. And left it at that.
Danger: “It really wasn’t that…I’m just not ready for the serious stuff…and it felt like it was moving that way. I guess I freaked myself out a bit.”
50peach: “Two glasses of wine, can’t help the honesty. I am a good person with a lot to offer. If you aren’t ready for that, then then is fine. But I am not wired for being non-serious. I am glad you told me. We’re just not in the same place. No hard feelings.”
Danger: “Definitely no hard feelings, [50peach]. You are an amazing woman…and I’m sorry.”
You can’t make this shit up. Two different men, two days apart, who break ties with me because things are/were getting too serious for them. Who “freak out” because of what I bring to the table.
Sweet baby Jesus, I quit.